Connection

Finding each other.

Enjoy the Fountain City Community Chorus (mentioned in the article below)! Singing begins a little after the 4 minute mark.

The other day I told a writing friend that I hadn’t written much in a while, although I was currently emailing long missives with an old friend, and also a cousin I’ve never met. My friend replied with one word: Connection. What we write comes from our journey in the world and the people with whom we have contact.

Recently, I’ve received the opportunity to communicate with people on a deeper level. I know this makes some people uncomfortable; throughout my life I’ve learned to discern when I’ve gone too far or too fast. I accept that I can be “a lot,” which excites some people and scares others. And that’s okay, we’re all different.

First, an old childhood friend reached out via email, someone I’ve known most of my life. He was thinking about my family and wanted to catch up. As we emailed back and forth, questions and memories came up about things in the past and we kept writing. We trust each other and began disclosing long-kept secrets, things that affected both of us deeply and continues to impact our lives. It was eye opening, and cathartic. It was also at times painful, and sad. The power of these secrets lessened with time, and we observed that we weathered these storms and continued moving forward. We also reminisced about good experiences, and how we learned and grew strong from them, too. I shared an original poem, and so did he. I look forward to getting back to him about that.

In a recent essay, Ask Questions of Your Elders, I wrote about my dad and mentioned that I have cousins on his side that I’ve never met. I kept thinking about that, and one night reached out to one of them that I see on social media. She happily replied, and we began a lengthy, in-depth email correspondence. It’s thrilling, and I’m thankful that she is also eager for us to get to know each other after all these years. The information we’ve already shared helps fill in blank spots in both of our family’s history. According to 23 & Me, she and I share 12% DNA, which I think means we have similarities. I’m hoping one day we can meet in person.

In the meantime, my husband and I traveled to southern Missouri, in the Ozark mountains, to meet up with his longtime best friend and white water canoeing buddy, Phil and his wife, Diane. The two men no longer canoe, but enjoy visiting their old haunts, places they camped or floated, sharing memories as they came up, one after the other. Each night’s highlight was a warm, crackling campfire, providing more opportunity for talking but also comfortable silence between friends who know each other so well.

I sing in a wonderful community chorus, and I walked in this past Thursday evening to the complete surprise of seeing a friend from the past. We lost touch after she moved to another state. We enthusiastically hugged and shared our current contact information, She and I sang together in a group some fourteen years ago, and now we’re singing together again.

And then there’s the random stranger who enters our orbit and we connect instantly. A couple of years ago I regularly attended a local writing workshop. One evening a new guy showed up, so I greeted him and began talking, becoming fast friends. He travels from Seattle to Kansas City with his wife and daughter to visit his in-laws, and that time decided to look for a writing group to do by himself. He connected with the whole group, which now meets online, so he keeps up with some of these writers. Right now he’s in Kansas City, so has made plans with these friends. I’m meeting him for coffee tomorrow.

Connection. There are folks we never connect with for whatever reason, and others with whom we instantly bond. Sometimes this describes family, too. Follow your heart.